Documenting Patterns of Abuse
A safe, structured way to document behavior.
Logs, Screenshots, and Safe Storage
What “Evidence” Can Look Like
In many abusive or harmful situations, keeping some record of what is happening can be helpful later. This is sometimes called “documentation” or “evidence.” It might:
- Help you see patterns and take your own situation more seriously
- Support you if you choose to involve police, lawyers, or a court
- Help a doctor, counselor, or advocate understand what you are experiencing
- Back up your story if the abusive person denies what happened
You are never required to collect evidence. You can decide whether it feels safe and useful for you.
Understanding Logs
A log is a written record of incidents or patterns over time. It does not need to be perfect or formal to be useful.
What to Include in a Log
You can include whatever feels important. People often find these details useful later:
- Date (and time, if you remember)
- Location (at home, in the car, at a friend’s house, online, etc.)
- What happened in simple, factual terms
- What was said (exact words or close to them, if you recall)
- Who was present (children, friends, neighbors, coworkers)
- Any injuries or damage (to your body, belongings, pets, property)
- How it ended (they left, you left, someone intervened, etc.)
- Any follow-up (texts apologizing, threats, blame, witnesses checking on you)
Simple Log Formats
You can keep a log in ways that fit your life and safety needs, for example:
- A small notebook with brief notes written to look like something ordinary (for example, “headache again after argument”)
- A document saved on a device the abusive person cannot access
- Emails sent to yourself from a safe account
- Text messages to a trusted person who understands what they are for
Using Screenshots
Screenshots can capture what someone sends or posts before it’s deleted or changed. They may be useful if the abusive person uses:
- Threatening or harassing texts or messages
- Controlling instructions (for example, rules, demands, or money controls)
- Stalking or monitoring apps
- Public posts that are intimidating or reveal private information about you
What to Screenshot
You might choose to capture:
- Text messages, DMs, or social media messages that are threatening, degrading, or controlling
- Photos, posts, or comments that reveal your location or personal information without your consent
- Evidence of fake profiles or impersonation
- Online banking or account screenshots that show financial control or unauthorized activity
Details That Can Make Screenshots More Useful
When safe and possible, try to include:
- The sender’s name or number visible in the screenshot
- Date and time stamps on messages or posts
- Entire conversations or threads, not just one line, when practical
- Context showing which app or platform is being used
If you cannot capture everything, even partial screenshots can still be helpful. Do what is realistically safe for you.
Other Helpful Records
In addition to logs and screenshots, other documentation may be useful, such as:
- Medical records that mention injuries, anxiety, or stress connected to relationship issues
- Photos of injuries, damaged property, or threatening items (like written notes)
- Police reports or incident numbers, even if no charges were laid
- School or workplace reports about concerning behavior, absences, or performance changes
- Financial documents showing unusual withdrawals, debt in your name, or account access being cut off
Thinking About Safety Before You Store Anything
Before you keep logs or screenshots, you may want to think through:
- Does the abusive person regularly search my phone, bag, car, or home?
- Do they know my passwords or have access to my email or cloud accounts?
- Have they become angry before when they could not find something or thought I was “keeping secrets”?
- Is there a safer person or place where I could store things instead of at home?
Safer Ways to Store Logs and Screenshots
No method is completely risk-free, but some options may be safer than others depending on your situation.
Physical Storage Options
- With a trusted person: keeping a notebook, USB drive, or printed screenshots at a friend’s, family member’s, or coworker’s place
- In a neutral location: for example, a locked drawer at work, a safety deposit box, or another place the abusive person does not access
- Hidden in everyday objects: such as inside an old book, in a box of stored papers, or mixed with other documents, if that feels safe
Digital Storage Options
If you use digital storage, consider how much access the abusive person might have to your devices or accounts.
- A separate email account with a strong, unique password that they do not know
- Cloud storage (for example, a drive or notes app) set up on a device they cannot access
- USB drive or external hard drive kept outside the home or in a hidden place
- Locked notes or folders with caution, as some partners notice password changes or new apps
You may want to turn off automatic syncing to shared devices and avoid storing sensitive documentation on any account or device they can see or control.
If the Abusive Person Finds Your Evidence
If you are worried about what might happen if they find your records, it may help to:
- Keep only minimal notes on any device or in any place they check often
- Store fuller documentation somewhere else that feels safer
- Consider what you might say if they ask about a notebook or file, and whether that feels realistic
- Think about who you could safely contact if their behavior escalates
You can explore additional support options through resources listed at DV.Support, including organizations that offer legal information and technology safety guidance.
Deciding What Is Right for You
Only you can judge what feels safe and manageable in your situation. You might decide to:
- Keep detailed logs and screenshots regularly
- Note only major incidents or threats
- Pause documentation during higher-risk times
- Rely more on trusted professionals’ records (such as doctors, schools, or employers)
Your choices can change over time as your situation changes. Even small steps, like noting dates of key incidents or saving a few important screenshots, can make a difference later.